Happiness

I don't allow myself happiness. I am afraid of expecting good things in life. I lock the door on that part of my history and my personality for fear of being alone or rejected. The sad thing is that in the end I am even more alone, and I am rejecting who I really am. The responsibility is mine alone! The issues are mine alone! So much happiness or the possibility of it is loaded into the period I am entering now. I have a better work situation, reach a marker in life that will be a good thing, am only a year away from finishing a major goal in my life (if I will apply myself), and get to take the first majorly fun vacation to a new destination in several years. I get to spend time with an old friend and my sister. At the same time, a deep sadness is trying to take root. I dislike where I live, don't have any close friends who I have that special bond with, have zero plans on my actual birthday, and my mom's birthday is actually being bothersome this year. I miss my mom, and I wish she were here right now! Life is headed in such a good direction, and I feel like I am being childish in not being able to appreciate the good things/possibilities and let them be enough. Ugh! Enough of this madness! I am not sure how to approach this issue at the moment, but I will figure out a way to eradicate it from my head and heart. In the meantime, this is more of an honest note to myself to get my head out of my butt. The expectation for someone to read and/or benefit from this does not even enter my mind. The expectation for me to kick this issue is huge.

Testing

Why do some people seem to continually seem to face challenges in life? I don't know for sure. I have a feeling it has something to do with making better people of us and giving us a story that can help heal others in the future. I just had a conversation with a person with whom I am casually acquainted. In the recent past she lost her mother, and her teenage daughter now is facing health complications. This woman works multiple jobs, and always seems to be going. I understand much of what she is facing and feeling. We just have to remember that everything happens for a reason, God won't give us something we can handle, and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. We just have to believe and have faith until we can see the light and reach the end of that particular journey/trial.

My gratitude list

5 things I am grateful for:

1. The extra little surprises in life

2. New York

3. Fresh, clean sheet and a comfy bed

4. The things I have been blessed with and the things I have been blessed to have missed

5. People to love and who love me

Simple but important things

What are you grateful for today? (Isn't amazing how big of a mood/focus changer gratitude is?)

Bono

"Whatever your religious or nonreligious views, the chance to begin again is a compelling idea."

- Bono

Op-Ed Guest Columnist - It’s 2009. Do You Know Where Your Soul Is? - NYTimes.com

Thought for the day

accentuate the positive
don't fight the negative

Friend Making Mondays!

So, I finally joined the fun. This weeks it is all about likes and dislikes of the five senses. Here goes!

SIGHT
Like:
* Beautiful flowers
* Eyes that are full of depth and mystery
* Rich colors and interesting patterns/textures
* The feet of little ones - whether it be a baby, puppy, or kitty
Dislike:
* Hairy backs

HEARING
Likes:
* Stevie Nicks singing
* Deep male speaking voices in the caliber of Sean Connery or James Earl Jones
* Music that feels like returning home
* Bass guitar and drums
Dislike:
* Misogynistic men yelling

TASTE
Likes:
* Chocolate
* Cheese
* Tea - sweet, peach, or other yummy varieties
* Margaritas and hurricanes
Dislike:
* Hot strong, bitter coffee (cold coffee such as a frappe is fine)

TOUCH
Likes:
* Massages
* Hugs (especially the run and tackle airport greeting of my sister)
* When a guy guides me with his hand on the small of my back
* Holding hands
Dislike:
* Weak hands

SMELL
Likes:
* Delicious men's cologne (even in candle form, but always better on a handsome guy)
* Roses
* Baking or cooking food
* Lemon - so very clean smelling!
Dislikes:
* Vomit - I so cannot handle it, sight or smell.

Life

Life will be what life will be. We will be better in the end for having been through it. We just have to keep looking for the light at the end of the tunnel and having hope.

Carrying the past forward....

A friend has been pondering what parts of her past to carry forward, and it got me to thinking about the subject myself. Here are a couple of responses I put to her that might interest you:

In a sense, everything that has happened to you becomes a part of who you are and how you have developed. I think the real question is what you make of what life has given you.

In response to her question of why people enter and leave our lives:

This is a question I have often pondered myself. I can't tell you how or why things happen. Some reasons do become clear later down the road. Some people help us develop characteristics, thoughts, or just show us something new. Others help us realize strengths or characteristics in us that may have not been realized. All I do know for sure is that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is veiled or at the least foggy. Every person you have met in your life has contributed in some way, no matter how minute, to who you are today.
As far as the doc goes, just be honest about how you feel. You cannot control anyone else, but at least you can try.

Waiting

Waiting is never easy, especially when important matters can live or die by the answer for which you are waiting. Nevertheless, sometimes the wait cannot be changed, only endured.

Reaching the finish line...

Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is for you.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Everyone gets down and has bad days. However, we can't let our bad days or circumstances keep us from reaching our goals. We must press on regardless. Somewhere deep within each of us there lies untapped depths of strength and determination that we don't know we possess. If we can't make our selves muster up the gutsy determination required to get past the hard times, we need to do two things. The first thing we must do is examine our attitude. Are we creating a negative self-fulfilling prophecy? Are we sabotaging ourselves? Do we need to rethink our thinking process? If our attitude is not the culprit we must examine our goals. Are our goals written down in such a way to remind ourselves of what we are reaching for and why? Have our desires changed and thus changed our desire to reach the goal? Is the goal worth finishing?
Quitting is not an option...period! Whether we press on to finish or change the direction of our path, quitting is taking the easy way out. It starts a bad pattern that diminishes our belief in the good in ourselves, sets an example of accepting less than the best, and undermines what we think we are capable of in the future. We must, must, must expect more and believe we have it in ourselves to meet and exceed our goals! We must believe we are worth it! We must believe we can achieve whatever we set our minds to! We must find a way to succeed and to win in life! We must believe we are and can be more than we are at this moment! We must be little engines that can! We must say "I think I can! I think I can!" When we have made it to the top of the mountain we must celebrate our victory and leave a remembrance of what we can do when we set our minds to it! We must say "I knew I could! I knew I could!" We must remember what we are capable of so in the hard times we have a benchmark, a milestone, to point to! We must set new goals and go for bigger goals and conquer new territory! We must never be happy to reminisce on past successes! WE MUST PRESS ON! Over and over, bigger and better! We must fulfill our mission in the world and make the biggest, best impact we can make! WE CAN! WE ARE CAPABLE! WE WILL CONTINUE TO GROW UNTIL WE ARE GONE!

http://trevorcrookblog.com/2008/11/07/set-yourself-on-fire-for-success-16-powerful-quotes/

The Little Engine That Could

Quotes:

"We are what we believe we are."
- C. S. Lewis

"If you think you can win, you can win. Faith is necessary to victory."
- William Hazlitt, English Essayist (1778-1830)

"If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right. "
- Henry Ford


Websites:

http://www.fff.org/freedom/1091c.asp

http://www.zimbio.com/Courage+Quotes/articles/2/YOu+Can+If+You+Think+You+Can

http://searchwarp.com/swa146551.htm

http://www.isshin-ryu.com/newsletters/2005/news-mar2005.htm

http://www.hawaiireporter.com/story.aspx?fd605807-0029-4ccd-83d0-fbd6e4af7754

http://melodylaila.com/thoughts/2008/01/03/inspiration-from-the-little-engine/


Poems:

You Can If You Think You Can!

If you think you are beaten, you are,
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you like to win, but you think you can't,
It is almost certain you won't.

If you think you'll lose, you're lost,
For out in the world we find,
Success begins with a fellow's will.
It's all in the state of mind.

If you think you are outclassed, you are,
You've got to think high to rise,
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.

Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man.
But soon or late the man who wins,
Is the man who thinks he can.

~ C. W. Longenecker ~

Beware Of Your Gunless Friend!

The dangerous people are not the ones
Who hit you with clubs and rob you with guns!
The thief won't attack your character traits
Or belittle your abilities to your face!
It likely will be a well-meaning friend
Who merely crushes your will to win.

No, he doesn't rob you, at point of gun,
He simply says, "It can't be done."
When pointed to thousands who already are
He smiles and says, "They're superior!"
Personality-wise, and abilities, too,
They're way ahead of what others can do!"

It matters not that his words are untrue
For, you feel "others" must know you!
So, you're robbed of your hopes, your dreams to succeed.
Robbed of the material blessing received,
Robbed of your faith that says, "I can."
And robbed by an ignorant, gunless friend.

So, the deadliest of men is not he with a gun,
But the one who tells you "It can't be done!"
For that taken by burglars can be gotten again.
But, what can replace your will to win?

~ Author Unknown ~

If you Think You Can, You Can!

You can be a total winner even if you're a beginner,
If you think you can, you can,
If you think you can, you can,
You can wear the gold medallion,
You can ride your own black stallion,
If you think you can, you can,
If you think you can, you can,

It's not your talent or the gift at birth,
It's not your bank book that determines worth,
And it isn't in the color of your skin,
It's your attitude that lets you win,
You can upset Connors or Austin,
Or win the marathon at Boston,
If you think you can, you can,
If you think you can, you can,

You can profit through inflation,
You can redirect this nation,
If you think you can, you can,
If you think you can, you can,

It doesn't matter if you've won before,
It makes no difference what's the half time score,
It's never over until the final gun,
So keep on trying and you'll find you've won,
You grab your dream and then believe it,
Go out and work and you'll achieve it,
If you think you can, you can,
If you think you can, you can!

~ Denis Waitley ~

Sources -
http://www.cybernation.com/victory/youcandoit/youcan.php

http://www.quotationspage.com/quote/2800.html

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/h/henryford122817.html

Lost Brilliance

Multiple times today, brilliant thoughts have popped into my head from conversations and observations by others. I did not write them down, however, so they are forever lost. Don't you hate that? Instead of this randomness, I would actually have a couple of good blogs to post.

"Hey! I have been there before!"

I love those moments when you can say "Hey! I have been there before!" I was watching the Linear U2 Video last night. They show a shot of Morocco at the end, and I have been at the landmark they show. It is a really cool feeling to see some unique destination that you have been fortunate enough to explore.

Envisioning the Vision

Sometimes we have to see past the things that are blocking our vision into the brilliant possibilities that lie beyond. What we can't see, we can imagine. What we can imagine, we can hope for. What we can hope for can cause us to believe in something greater in ourselves and than ourselves. If we can't believe, we have no chance at success. Our circumstances and realities can become a springboard for success rather than a rope meant to trip us up.

The Power to Change

When you blame others, you give up your power to change.
Robert Anthony

This is a thought provoking quote. We either grow or we begin to die. We cannot continually occupy a singular place for a undetermined amount of time. That said, if we don't change, we can't grow. If we don't grow, we become less and less. Both growth and shrinking causes changes in our nature and appearance. I guess it just comes down to whether you want to be more, bolder, braver, and better or smaller and less of a person.

The things that don't quite kill us...

That which does not kill us makes us stronger.
Friedrich Nietzsche

This quote may be used quite often, but it holds a great truth at its heart. Adversity and hard times can lead us to defeat and death or to strength and toughness. We can survive far more than we give ourselves credit for most of the time. We can be as tender and as elegant as a blooming rose no matter how tough the environment that surrounds us.

Another source of inspiration (I love this poem!):

Rudyard Kipling
If

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

The Wedding Night

I have started noticing an interesting trend lately. The wedding night seemingly no longer holds the sacred status, I imagine, it once did. Many couples are more interested in drinking or hanging out with friends than getting down to business. I refer not to hanging out 1 a.m. but to 4 or 5 a.m. What is the reason for this shift? Does it relate to the fact that sex before marriage and living together is much more commonly accepted than decades ago? My gut tells me this is a large part of the reason. Does it have something to do with the changing image of marriage? Again, my instinct is also ringing some bells on this one as well. Still, I think personally it wouldn’t matter to me. The wedding day is a major milestone in your life. For women, we can gain a new name. Legally, we have tied our name to another person’s name (and credit). This is a day that for many people has been worked and looked forwards too for a long period of time. For good or bad, your husband/wife just made a big commitment to you. (Hopefully, they intend to keep it.) I am somewhat traditional. The wedding night always seemed like a two person event, not a big party, at least not after 1or 2 a.m. I don’t have all the answers. It just seems to be a marked change in societal behavior that should be noted.

Strength and Leadership

I have been pondering the nature of strength and leadership for the last few days. What is the appearance of strength? It can be bold and forceful. It occurs to me that the true picture of strength is not so loud. I imagine strength is more of a quiet assurance that has the core of the firmness of steel covered with the softened edges of velvet. True strength stems from a rock solid belief that you are exactly correct or on the right path for your place in life. It isn’t afraid of opposing views or a change in your views, beliefs or path. Strength is not being afraid of yourself, others or living. It is the courage with which we face the unknown and unknowable and move forward regardless. It is a compelling, driving combinaton of fear and anticipation to face the cliff-like future with faith and just jump. This brings me to leadership. I believe that true leadership has a core of true strength. Leadership doesn’t always look like a bright beacon shining that we are compelled to follow, nor does it always look like the outstreched hand urging us to go forward. Leadership has many outward appearances. At the heart of brilliant leadership, I believe you will find a heart turned towards outward other people, ears that are listening and a mouth that is closed. When leaders speaks, their people listen. The power that a leaders’ words and actions hold is immeasurable. They considers the truth before they speaks. Their words are dedicated to lifting up, not tearing down. They are more concerned with giving than taking. The weight of responsibility is their mantle and they wear it with joy and acceptance.